*****

Recorded Reading (4:25): https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/pnkh7b6wiyuowey9nxtwn/Care-and-Feeding.mp3?rlkey=j6iu062qizi2j0kxoz814eflk&st=8hdnoua8&dl=0

*****

The Care and Feeding of Pesky Poets

We keep a poet in the way-back, so
Be kinda careful how you go ~
She tends to illuminate
Things we might not want to know

We thought to put her in the front
But that won’t work out, honey
We’re sure that she means well, but still,
She looks a little ~ funny!

And when they’re up on their high horses
Guests just might not understand
When she rides by on her low horse
Saying, “On the other hand…”

Took her toe off the party line
Took it off the alt line too ~
You never know what insights her
Imagination has for you!

In desperation, one time we
Experimented with a cage
But she rolled up and poked out every
Barely-rhyming page

And when it came discussion to of
Some appropriate restraint ~
Most folk seem for that cut out
But poets definitely ain’t!

Someone came up with the thought
We should just use a gag
We tied one on, but she just went
And started a new rag

Defaming those who would attempt
A little normalcy ensure ~
We simply haven’t found yet for
That pesky poet any cure!

Walk carefully around the back yard
In the bushes, bra,
You’re liable to step in her
Creative effluvia

If you see her, try not to tell her
She looks like a fool
(In throes of creativity
She has the tendency to drool,

And that’s on top of Shakespeare’s poets’
“Wildly rolling eye,”
Seemingly astonished
At whatever it espy)

There are online instructions
For poets’ care and feeding ~
Especially for this one,
Which shows a little breeding

It is not recommended that you
Poke it with a stick
Unless from wide selections
Of epithets to take your pick

Whatever you do, do not ever
Let one come inside ~
When it gets on a frothing rant
That’s your last place to hide!

In aught dispute, do not attempt
Be able say that you have won
Give that whole notion up right now
Just get the tranquilizer gun

You’ve got to believe me
I’d have done it long ago
If my derriere from my elbow
I could come to know!

But I think that it’s hopeless
Unfortunately
It seems that pesky poet
Has kinda grown on me

The kids all like her ~ they won’t even
Let me take her to the pound!
They would make me mis’rable
‘Cause she’s their favorite clown

Only person that can pry them
From their phones and their TV
Is when that poet gets to doing
Caricatures of me!

Purina Poet Chow’s the only
Feeding that is recommended
Unless your agreement
Is one that’s open-ended (ow!)

You expense should undertake
~ Yes, you really oughter ~
In heavily barbiturated
Lightly sweetened water

Poets need a lot of sleep ~
You want yours to need even more ~
So you just get ’em thirsty
Just an hour or two before

Your sweetheart comes a’calling, or
Your boss is due for dinner ~
That way you don’t find her
Serenadin’ ‘neath yer winder

They say that to make a pet
Of one of these is possible
If one does not forget
That they never stop be’ing feral,

Never learn simple discretion
Or to comb their hair,
Incapable of small deception,
For reputation have no care

Best to have a big back yard
You know how the neighbors talk
When you have to take a burgeois
Pet out for its daily walk…

We decided just, for now,
To keep her in the shed ~
She haunts the place so thoroughly,
We won’t know when she’s dead!

*****

This poet/editor is physically disabled, and lives at a fraction of her nation’s poverty level.

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