The welcome back card from your officemates in Hell…

The slightly jagged mystery sound at the end of this recording is actually the poet not-so-successfully attempting to stifle a giggle.

*****

Recorded Reading (1:43): https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/oj067ccs3q9geyqby9xzq/Welcome-Back-Jack.mp3?rlkey=et32ua0datleruqlmm37j4rmc&st=mbp994kb&dl=0

*****

Welcome Back, Jack

Welcome back,
Jumpin’ Jack
Had your fun
That’s all done
Didn’t burn
For your return
(While you were gone
We partied on)

Now that you’re home
We write this pome
To let you know
That you can go
Away again
Real soon, and stay
For a long rest
A year is best

Till then please try
Low to lie
No need to come
Your homestead from
Just to be
The same place we
Are gathering
To have a fling

We think that would
Be bad, not good
For people in
That neighborhood
Not to mention
Your detention
By police
Disturbs their peace

Same if you
Are just in view
Or hearing, even
When you’re leavin’
Early ’cause
Your outfit was
So way uncool
It made a fool

Of not just you
But any who
Might stand too close
And catch a dose
Of “Just don’t speak
To me because
I am a geek!”

After you
Have had a few
You’ll tell that girl
Who’s ’bout to hurl
Your recipe
For fricassee
Of baby whale
With sauteed kale

And then for
The proprietor,
Do that strip tease
Upon your knees
(Not to be snitty
It isn’t pretty)
We’ll let you know
You have to go

Yet even when
We tell you so
We’re never sure
The goddamn door
Won’t darkened be
Sudden, unexpectedly,
By you again ~
We’re only sayin’

Be our brother
Somewhere other!
We would be
Most gratefully
Obliged to see
No more of thee ~
So here’s a beer,
Get out of here

*****

The poet/editor of this website is physically disabled, and lives at a fraction of her nation’s poverty level.

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