A true tale from the poet’s thirties.

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Recorded Reading (7:02): https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/3ok6fyckfc5faoo9qw7os/The-Day-I-Pissed-Off-Miss-People-s-Republic-of-Chi.mp3?rlkey=dvck4tvyyk0krt8ap6reorll0&st=6tzamlru&dl=0

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The Day I Pissed Off Miss People’s Republic of China

The wondrous Worldwide Congress
Of Cultures and of Poetry
In downtown San Francisco
Proceeded most prestigiously

And heading up a panel
Who do you think there be,
Adornment of a podium,
But awestruck little me

It was a Native panel
To lead which I had come
Of American women
The Sacramento Valley from

I got a lesson in what canny
Prestige can create
When pow’rs that be decided
To begin our panel late

And when they made it late again
My second in command
Cleared her throat and stood to go
Wherever go the people can

Harness threats discrimination
And prejudice of
Returning with the plum slot
Any panel head would love

Eleven AM sharp we stood
Upon the gilded stage
Faced an eager audience
For Natives then were all the rage

And carrying a pray’r-stick
From the Sisters of the Shields ~
Many were that reading’s
Socio-spirit’ual yields

After presenting, those so do
Permitted are to stay
Remainder of the whole event
Nor are required to pay

And so I waited with the rest
View the next presenter to:
Miss People’s Republic of China
And her designer, Melinda Tu

Miss People’s Republic
Proved on first sight to be
The dream of every present man
She moved submissively

With nostrils made of porcelain
And hair of ebony
Demonstrating how extremely
Delicate a girl can be

Every quiv’ring ornament
Every little curl
Made all the men ecstatic
And we women want to hurl

She sang her song sweet pathos of
In such appealing woe
When it was finished, I felt best
Unto the restroom go

But ere I could rise from my chair
Preparing it to leave
A little Oriental woman was
Behind me, plucking at my sleeve

“Excuse me,” she politely said
“But the designer want to know
Would you like try a outfit on,
And be in fashion show?”

Unless over your blind eyes they
Have pulled layers of wool
You’ll know that question was to me
Like red is to a raging bull

I did not pause to formal
Ceremony stand upon
“Would I like try a outfit?” I said,
“Gorgeous girl, lead on!”

They stripped me to the skin to put
The first of two outfits on me
Because there was no back to it
And for a top there only be

A broad scarf of self-fabric
Beneath the jacket fell
Complimenting that jacket’s
Elegant panels’ swell

Suddenly myself in that
Narrow dressing room found
A dozen sweet diminutive
Models me surround

Patting my shoulders gently
While they twittered just like birds
I looked to their translator
To understand the words

“No need to be alarmed,” she told me
Reassuringly,
“They’re only saying that yours a
Perfect body be”

“Well, gosh, I like that!” I exclaimed
(Inordinately happily)
“Where I come from this very far
From a perfect body be!”

Never having modeled
In my life before
I looked to the designer —
She showed me how to walk the floor

Paying close attention
At that last moment did I learn
How to drop the jacket
How to make the turn

In the remaining minutes
Before that fashion curtain’s call
I practiced what I had been taught
Solo, in the hall

But nothing need prepare me for
The stage, the music and the lights —
Since I was but an infant
These have been for me delights

And when that jacket dropped I glanced
Back my bare shoulder o’er
To see worldwide photographers
Leave their seats that snapshot for

When I went backstage for the change
I’m sure that you must know
My step it had a little spring
My spirit had a little glow

They seated me beyond a rack
Of clothing lined up near the door
Beneath a little mirror I
Hadn’t noticed there before

To smile to myself gently
In my elevated state
As to be put into the second
Outfit I prepared to wait

Through the door past that clothing rack
Just beyond my gaze
Someone entered to the room
Clearly out of phase

So angry, even in Chinese
I knew she swearing were
And noticed all the little models
Silently to her defer

Spitting, fuming, throwing things
She came around the room
Preparing look that mirror in
A posture to assume

And when she did, and found herself
Just inches from my startled face
A most comical alteration
Of her attitude took place

From her contorted lovely face
The anger drained away
And rising swiftly in its place
Came an expression of dismay

Cured my mystification
At what had got her so damn mad:
I found out by that instant change
It was myself that had!

“I’ve insulted one of their premier
Poets — Oh, oh, oh! Oh no!
I’ll have to commit suicide
When back to home I go

Dishonored and discredited
After which my family
Thanks to my ungoverned tongue
Will ashamed and starving be…”

And for all the remainder
Of that lofty gathering
It was a very curious
Most interesting thing

Each time she’d opportunity
A portion of appeasement give
She’d cry “This is the one I want
My picture taken wiv!”

The people who, behind the people,
Made that world convention go
Gathered round my pray’r stick
Sunday morning — and Aho!

And then there was the day
I also enjoy thinking of
I played them the piano
Something that I love

I met some stellar souls
That weekend, literarily,
But think my favorite exper’ience
At that great convention be

The excellent and jolly fun
This obscure young poet had
The day she made Miss People’s
Republic of China mad!

*****

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