*****

Recorded Reading (3:26): https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/pztcto2lkylk9fxvalpx1/Pale-in-Face.mp3?rlkey=q5q10qjvyauquo4z9y8bdovtn&dl=0

*****

Pale in Face

There comes the time when everything
We’ve sacrificed so much to do
Those dreams we made, then tried so hard
To see them all come true
Far horizons we have brought
Much closer into view
Goals and plans and efforts we
Diligently attended to

Seem to us to pale in face
Our own shortcomings of
None of it makes us worthy
To show ourselves a little love
Convictions of inadequacy
Too dismayed to rise above
No affection for our selves
Our saddened hearts may hope to move

Recalling old misunderstandings
We wish that we could explain
Or maybe have those moments back
To live over again
So we might save acquaintances
Unintended pain
And ongoing suspicion
Initial clarity regain

We think about, in retrospect,
When we upon the wrong horse bet
About as wrong a horse as
Horses very often get
Results of which got everyone
Freshemmeled and upset
We wonder if they’ve ever really
Gotten over those times yet

All our good accomplishments
Seem insignificant
We’re sure ’twas something greater
We originally meant
To bring to be when firstly
On this path our feet were bent
Don’t understand where all
Our happy satisfaction went

We only know the shadows
Hold less beauty and more gloom
For self appreciation
In our hearts there’s little room
Wondering how we can any
Worthiness of self assume
The blush faded alarmingly
From off of every single bloom

Which in the just near past
Brought to our hearts so much delight
Anticipated pleasures
Memories all warm and bright
Alarmingly diminished in
This dreary and unkind dead light
In which most everything seems bathed
On such an inauspicious night

How may we hope to presently
Such melancholy abdicate
The bubble of our self esteem
Adequately to reinflate
We seek return to happiness
Discover for a gate
The good news is, my gentle friends,
All we have to do is wait

Let it pass unjudgingly
The moment pathos ridden by
Appreciate it whimsic’ly
And let true sorrow pass us by
For everyone must sometime be
A little insufficient spry
A little slow, a little low
Less of a giggle than a sigh

Give ourselves a long tight hug
Pat ourselves upon the back
Don’t pay too much attention to
What we tell ourselves we lack
Refuse back at that self
To be provoked to the attack
And pretty soon the world around
Will have its joyful color back

*****

This poet presently lives at a fraction of her nation’s poverty level.

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