Recorded Reading (1:51): https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/11ovvqj7doyqh4x5xnhs2/Who-the-Heck-Am-I-Anyway.mp3?rlkey=2csfi3sjkputs61vpwy3cmyqn&dl=0

*****

Who the Heck Am I, Anyway?

The kids think I’m very old fashioned
The women think I Iook too young
They fear me to be overpassioned
Their lovingly kept men among

The businessmen think I’m a hippie
To hippies, conservative seem
Intellectuals think I am dippy
While the common man too smart me deem

My head’s in a terrible tizzy
Describe which I cannot begin
Just thinking of it makes me dizzy:
Oh, were will I ever fit in?

The skaters can’t wait,
The haters deflate,
Takes an old reprobate
To think I am great

And have the right characteristics
A blend I cannot seem to get ~
It has me about in hysterics
Freshemmeled and anxious, you bet!

How will the cosmetics lady
Tell me which season to be
Sunny or windy or shady
If I can’t tell her about “meeeee”?

I’ve heard the hype
This is my gripe:
I need to settle
On a type!

Am I gloaming in the heather
Dressed in woolens for the weather
Or am I, inward, something other?
I really cannot say whether

I should be swirling ’round instead
In tropical seaside pastel
(Both possibilities I dread ~
I don’t “do” either very well!)

The very worst is late at night
Whenever I’m not feeling great
It really gives me quite a fright
When in my mind runs the debate:

When I rise from my casket
Celestial doormen to tell
My destination when they ask it ~
Do I say “heaven,” or “hell”?

*****

This poet presently lives at a fraction of her nation’s poverty level.

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