*****

I am your stalker.

I have a remote mic on you.

All day long, curtains open or closed, you will be made fun of:

• Every time you sigh
• Every time you cry
• Every time your heart rate changes
• Every time you pick up your device
• Every time your device malfunctions (hahaha!!)
• Every time you put it down
• Every time you take a poop
• Every time you kill a fly (I love bringing you flies!)
• After you lie down, every time you wiggle your toes (I particularly love this one), and
• Every time your breathing lets me know you’re falling asleep (my all time favorite!)

*****